


i got to know him pretty well

by fleury



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, cody ko’s gay awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 08:14:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19719736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleury/pseuds/fleury
Summary: “I kind of wanna kiss him,” Cody says. “Is that weird?”Devon stares for a while, putting things together. “No?”“Oh, god, it’s weird.”





	i got to know him pretty well

**Author's Note:**

> woop woop:)

“Hey,” Noel says, flinching when the door shuts behind him a little too loud.

Cody dislodges one of his earbuds, and even though he knows Noel isn’t going to say anything else, that he’s getting straight in bed and passing out, he wants to make sure Noel knows he has all of his attention. He deserves things like that, little things. “Hi.”

Noel’s hoodie is hanging loosely from his chest with wet spots from rain decorating every inch of it. His hair is damp and parted to the side. Everything about him screams exhausted, and cold, and freezing, and if that was Cody he’d throw a fit. 

But Noel isn’t like that. He’s not like Cody, isn’t like a lot of the guys. When he smiles it doesn’t ever look forced, despite everything, and something swirls in the bottom of Cody’s stomach. Noel’s practically a stranger, but.

He drifts back to the music playing in his ears, trying not to watch as Noel drops his hoodie to the ground.

+

Devon’s been bugging him about it for weeks now. Has been ever since Noel moved in with him, but, like, Cody tries not to think about that.

They’re friends and he gives him his notes sometimes, so they’re tight. It’s just that Devon’s a dick, which gets really tiring.

“You good?” He’s asking, probably for the fourth time this month, right after Cody persuades Noel that it’s way too hot outside for anything but shorts. 

When he leaves, he definitely catches himself looking for a second too long. 

Devon just rolls his eyes and takes a long drag from his Juul. “Are you two together? I can’t even tell anymore.” The white smoke comes up in heaps around his face, and very much in Cody’s space.

Literally. He has to take a moment to teach himself how to breathe again. “Nah, wrong team, man,” he says eventually, like he didn’t spend the last five minutes trying to convince Noel into the most revealing thing he owns.

“Oh.” Devon laughs. “Okay. I get it.”

Cody does not press on what the _fuck_ that means, but he does screw his face into a scowl next time he smells bubblegum way too close to him.

+

Whenever Marcus crashes at Devon’s place while Cody’s over, it’s fucking suffocating — the tension. Since, like, Marcus is really touchy and leans all over Devon. He constantly makes remarks about him that just barely skim the line when it comes to bros. It’s a thing.

Half the time, Cody wants to bolt the second he gets a glimpse of the two making this intense eye contact. As in _intense_ , way beyond the shit he’s used to, like they’re fucking each other with their eyes.

Which is cute and all sure, just not with Cody third-wheeling the entire thing, and—

God, he needs to get laid.

+

Noel’s pretty quiet most of the time, more than he needs to be. So it gets pretty hard to hold up a conversation when Cody tries, but maybe that’s his fault, considering how little he tries.

Giving Noel space is probably one of his strong suits, because he gets to sneak glances whenever he’s glaring down at his study material. And it’s really endearing since Noel doesn’t get frustrated all that often. His brows twitch together and the furrow fades after a moment, but while it’s in there it’s cute.

+

Cody always has something to do.

That’s fucking econ for you.

Noel also always has something to do, but he doesn’t take econ. He’ll run in and out of the place constantly because he works in retail and actually cares about his job, which is mad.

Cody sort of wants to spoil him sometimes, because his mother still slips him extra dough. Call him a mama’s boy, but it’s helpful when it comes to cashing out on booze, so he gets his fucking clout.

And when Noel looks tired, half-dead, but still somehow relaxed, Cody will pass him a bottle of Corona and grin. 

+

The grass is wet and gross against his back. They’re out back at a party. Noel’s pressed in close next to him. So it’s okay for the most part, because it’s a little cold, and Noel’s a little warm. 

“Wish we could stay here forever,” Cody says, and he pushes his bottle of beer against his hipbone as punishment, because what the fuck does that even mean? He tries not to wince. Noel laughs. 

Cody can’t see his dimples, but he can feel them on his shoulder and every inch of him feels warmer. “Me too.”

He hums an affirmative and tries not to let his relief show.

+

Marcus is really open about his feelings. Too open if you ask anyone but Devon. Because Devon’s idea of affection is getting him on his lap and playing with his hair.

“Gross,” Cody offers, so they’ll stop staring at each other.

Being buzzed feels good though, pretending he doesn’t have an early class, pretending he doesn’t have three overdue assignments, pretending Noel Miller doesn’t exist.

That last one ends in regret and Cody picking up his phone to call an uber.

+

Noel’s smile shouldn’t be as gorgeous as it is, it’s not fair. Cody forgets what he’s saying every two seconds because Noel’s always smiling, always happy, always perfect. It’s fucking annoying.

It gets to the point where he stares at the room while talking to him, because there’s a limit to how much of that he can take.

+

“Hey, sorry if I did something wrong,” Noel mumbles.

Cody nearly drops everything, because Noel sounds _upset_ , and that never happens. “You didn’t?” It shouldn’t come out as a question, that only makes it worse. Fucking — Cody’s wrecking this.

“You’re just really distant sometimes, you know?” He says, in a way that makes something hook onto his heart. “My bad, sorry.”

Back to square one. Cody wonders if death by self-loathing is a possibility.

+

“You wanna get pizza?” Noel asks dully, yawning as he looks up from his phone.

Cody stares for a good long moment before, “Gotta go to the bathroom, sorry,” and he’s tripping over his own two feet on the way out, which is just great. He’s great.

+

The AC burns out.

Noel’s definitely not wearing enough clothing, slumped into Cody’s side on the couch. It’s about a hundred degrees out, way too hot to be this close but he still doesn’t move in fear of losing contact. 

It’s not even cold, not this time, he doesn’t even have an excuse. It’s just _nice_.

Noel’s thumbing through an old magazine, tapping out a beat on his leg, and Cody’s trying not to watch as the warm pages leave ink on his fingertips. 

He’s too sober for this. 

The heat’s getting to his head and he’s probably starting to drift off at some point too, but then he feels a thumb press into his cheek, barely registers the chuckle.

“Aw, what the fuck,” Cody mutters, and it’s not mean in the slightest. When he reaches for his cheek, ink comes off on his hand. 

“Now you’re art.” Noel smiles at him, and they’re so close that when he tilts his head up to look at him he’s inches away. 

Cody sucks in his bottom lip and lets out a shattered breath, because he can’t think of anything to say, and Noel’s looking at him a little expectantly. 

_Do it_ , he goads himself silently. _Kiss him._

He never does.

+

Sometimes, when he’s tossing and turning in bed for hours on end, he’ll let his mind wander to places he doesn’t want it to go.

Like how he’s wanted to kiss a _guy_ for the past few weeks. He’s never done it, which is a little frightening. But he thinks he might like it. If he gave it a try. 

He really just wants to kiss Noel.

+

“I kind of wanna kiss him,” Cody says. It sounds kind of odd saying it out loud, Devon must think so too, since his eyes go wide. “Is that weird?”

He stares for a while, putting things together. “No?”

“Oh, god, it’s weird,” he says into the palms of his hands. “I’m making things weird, and I freak out around him constantly. I mean, all the time, it’s so  
stupid. I— I don’t know what to do.”

“Jesus christ.” Devon coughs out wisps of smoke. “Chill out, Cody. You just want different things, it’s _fine_.”

If things are fine, they don’t feel fine. “Are you sure?”

He nods. “I’m sure.” It doesn’t really matter that Devon thinks so, but it helps a little.

+

It actually helps a lot.

+

“He has gorgeous eyes, Marcus.”

“I know.”

“And the softest hair, the sweetest fucking smile—“

“I _know_.”

+

Cody really isn’t sure what he was thinking taking Noel out for ice cream, because the sidewalk is so hot he could cook a homemade meal with room for seconds.

The thing is: he wants to spoil Noel, wants him to be happy and stress-free, because it’s what friends are for. He owes him that much.

Watching intently as vanilla ice cream drips down his fingers however, definitely isn’t buddies. To make things worse, his straight face isn’t sitting well either.

He swallows what feels like an entire handful of nails and scrambles to the bathroom.

+

Noel, early in the morning, is slow and soft. All of his movements are lazy, but he’s always got a mild expression on his face, like he’s glad to get out of bed. Cody really only sees it in small flashes, because he’ll sleep until noon whenever he can. He likes it though, likes Noel.

+

So he likes Noel. And probably wants to kiss him too, which is — it’s definitely something. 

+

“Fuck me,” Noel hisses under his breath, eyes skimming over the piece of paper in his hands.

Cody probably perks up a little too quickly. For a second, he just watches, and then, “Need help?”

“Nah,” he responds, crumpling it up in his hands. “You wanna grab a bite?” 

Cody’s pretty proud of himself for nodding without losing all of his composure.

+

It’s either just wishful thinking or hallucinations, but Cody occasionally catches Noel looking. Not as much as he returns the favour though, which is pretty often. 

Hey, he’s a dude with needs and he’s got a lot to look at. 

The point is: Noel looks, and Cody can never stomp down the flush when they lock eyes.

+

Devon barely ever talks about anything other than Marcus, and class, and how hungry he is. He’s a good listener, though. And he’s got good advice when it comes to it. Cody’s grateful for that.

“Stick your dick in him,” he slurs, grinning this toothy thing right in his direction.

“Alright, then,” Cody mouths to himself, letting Devon press a bottle to his lips.

+

“Noel,” he says, and his voice comes out rough, hurts a little. His pupils feel blown, like there’s too much light caught in his eyes, and he blinks. Once, twice, forgets to breathe.

The hands on his hips tighten and his eyes shut almost on instinct.

Cody swallows, draws a breath. “Noel,” he repeats, and the wall digs right into his spine. “Please.”

“Tell me what you want,” he says. His voice is hot and sultry and Cody’s never heard it come out out like that, but he swears he’s been waiting.

He’s needed this for too long not to ask, been deprived of it for-fucking-ever, he aches for it, bleeds just for this. “Kiss me.” It’s low. Breathy.

His eyes are still screwed shut, and patterns in blue and purple dance across his eyelids. For a second it’s all he can focus on. Then it’s Noel’s breath, so close he can taste it. Then—

Kissing him is soft, slow, and everything right about Noel, _everything_ about him. There’s no real heat behind it, but Cody’s out of breath, and his knees feel a little weak, but the hands holding him up don’t let him fall. 

He’s never even kissed a guy, didn’t even get to see Noel lean in, but he likes this. And it’s surreal to think someone so much more than gorgeous is his first. 

For one regrettable moment, he wonders if this is Noel’s first too, and squashes the thought the second it hits. There’s no way. He doesn’t want to think about it, not while he’s trying to pack the hole he’s been digging for months. 

+

Cody falls in love with his eyes closed.


End file.
